html> Normal People Scare Me

McSwarek kisses in Season 5



whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!





slapdancing:

girlpal:

f is for friends who do stuff together

Theyre evolving

slapdancing:

girlpal:

f is for friends who do stuff together

Theyre evolving





Sometimes I think I was born backwards. You know, come out my mum the wrong way. I hear words go past me backwards. The people I should love, I hate. And the people I hate…

Effy Stonem (Skins)



Good morning, my heart (✿ ♥‿♥)



A real relationship has fights. Has trust. Has faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has sweet smiles. Has genuine laughter. Has snorts because of the laughter. Has weird, stupid, unnecessary arguments. Has patience. Has communication. Has secrets. Has jealousy. And most importantly, love. This is all just a mess that turns out beautiful and an experience that can never be forgotten.





'Maybe I don't want to be saved the trouble. Maybe I want the trouble. I haven't wanted the trouble in a long time, but with you…'



wackyshenanigans:

i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before

This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.





conversation at work

  • i work at a halloween haunted house park
  • Guy who works in a haunted house: The best part about working in the haunted house is when girls go under the black-light.
  • Me: Yeah? Why's that?
  • Guy: If they're wearing a white bra, you can see it glow! Haha like why would you wear a white bra to this place?
  • Me: uh
  • Me: i dont get it
  • Guy: you can see their bras. Its funny.
  • Me: did you not know girls wear bras? Did you not know girl's have breasts?
  • Some girl walking past: What? We have... Hold on *looks down shirt* WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
  • some other boy: HOLY SHIT what the FUCK is under your SHIRT?
  • girl: I DONT KNOw? BREASTS APPARENTLY??
  • other boy: *SCREAMING*
  • girl: *SCREAMING*
  • me: *SCREAMING*
  • first boy: uh fine whatever fine i get it jesus christ


proctalgia:

girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you



castielsteenwolf:

weloveshortvideos:

just a cat giving a presidential speech on ebola…

IVE HAD A TUMBLR FOR 4 YEARS AND THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN ON HERE I CANT BREATHE